Just say right.

you know what this is about right? you know that since day one it always was, right?? you know that i know and i knew along, right? you know that aside all of that, there is only one person that runs through my thoughts every night before i drift into the uknown... right? i am assuming you know who that is.... right? you know that i am always here for you, despite the fact that i left, right?

"my brain knows better." you would not believe my inbox of saved text messages. sometimes i wonder to myself why i hold onto the past so much. i know it wont get me anywhere tomorrow. i know it wont matter in two days. i know it means nothing today. because it is the past. and that is all. nothing more. nothing less.

but something in my heart makes me believe that no matter how long ago, no matter how heart felt it was 'at the time', you did mean it when you said it, so there is always potential.

potential friendship.
potential lovers.

just plain potential. the positive kind. you know??


i should have given your heart a reason to stay but instead i pushed you away and walked off, fearing rejection and in denial of the truth. i have always been afraid of those types of things. you know... not being accepted for how you feel or who you really are??

no, trust me. i know. it was short lived. but do you remember all the laughs?
because i know i do. i know that i won't forget them for a while. i don't know why, but i know that its true.

maybe it was in your laugh,
or maybe it was that sparkle in your eye each time i looked over at you when we were in that car, that specific look you carried so deeply. so heartfelt. so in the moment and wreckless.


you see.
these are the kinds of things i fear.
love. comfortability. stability.

because nothing is assured to last forever.
in fact. most things that are promised forever are usually shot down before you can even have a taste of how beautiful it is.. shot down by reality. im sure you know what i mean....... right??